okay time to revive my dyinggggggg blog.

9 weeks of internship at pei hwa has ended!

Oh wells i guess it's a bitter sweet thing. 9 weeks is neither v long nor short. Just when I have just began to form meaningful relationships w my students and it all ends. I wished I could have a proper ending w my students. It ended so abruptly after camp. I have always wanted to give a farewell speech, sorta. To tell my students how much I enjoyed teaching them. Really, and thanks for listening even though I was boring at times and when lessons were dry. Ah :( one 遗憾 I have in this internship is not being able to teach 3N2, which was one of the classes I was supposed to teach during the internship and as a result, I don't really know the students well. 3N2 although a noisy class, would have been an interesting bunch to teach. (: But at least I did one relief class for 3N2 which was quite a disastrous attempt :X ah i rather not mention it.

For me, I take quite long to warm up to people I guess. At first I didn't know how to "communicate" with my students. Haha as they say there's some 代沟, cos I think I am like 4-6 years older than most of them. Gosh I am old!!
But one thing's for sure, kpop is a great ice-breaker (:
Anyway, i am really glad I got posted to a neighbourhood school :DDDDD
Neighbourhood school rocks okay!! :D

Gosh I miss teaching.

It didn't help that some of the classes I got were really quiet at first. Like awkward silence. I kept answering my own questions in class and it seemed really silly! haha. I have to resort to calling names. Okay i understand the students' mentality lah, given that I was a student not so long ago...whenever the teacher used to ask questions in class I would be like " no no no no please don't call me!! * looks down and away from the teacher" I guess that's how the students felt. But as time passes the students warm up to you and learn to make jokes haha :D

I have learnt alot from the internship. I guess teaching in front of 40 odd students in 2 classes have made me a more confident person. A little more confident heheh cos it's like public speaking. When I first taught, I was reallyyyy nervous omg. But you gradually get used to it and slowly get the hang of it. It's not bad I guess, all 90 plus eyeballs looking up at you. I get so used to it that sometimes I just blabber on in class without thinking and realise that I have been repeating the same points over and over again. Haha. And I totally 开声 from all the shouting during relief classes, especially to the naughty ones. I hate scolding classes and I try my best not to do that. It's bad for my image lol. xD But after those experience, I realised my voice can be quite loud, something which I never knew I was quite capable of haha (: But I like relief classes, cos you never know which class you're gonna get. I like surprises and uncertainties.

The sec 3 overseas camp was a decision I never regret making. Well I guess I could have stayed local w Angie. I felt a little lonely when i went to pahang alone without her :( I really missed her alot and felt quite depressed during the initial stages of camp. But I guess that's all part and parcel of learning and venturing out of your comfort zone. I admit I was afraid of the responsibilities that was bestowed upon me, of being responsible for the safety of the kids. I couldn't very much take care of myself already according to my mum, given the state of how messy my room is. I was a little intimidated of being the only intern amongst the many senior teachers who all knew each other, I worried about not being able to mix with them. But it wasn't too bad :D I love how the teachers who joke w me and include me in their conversations, as well as being concerned for my well-being, like offering to take over me for sentry duty so that I could sleep. This experience also allowed me to take a closer peek at what the teaching career really entails.

3E1 was a really great class (: they totally showed another side of them during camp, they are not quiet! That's for sure (: Stay bonded kay! I really wanna thank some of the girls esp for accompanying me throughout the camp and talking to me so I won't feel so lonely :D you guys are really lovely! And thank you for helping me take my food and drinks during camp and reserving a seat for me beside you guys :D Haha so touched (: All the ice-breaker games and team activities allowed me to build more rapport with the students. If only the camp happened earlier, then I wouldn't have been talking to the walls during lesson time haha. I guess if I had never gone for the camp, i wouldn't have known 3E1 better and it would have just been restricted to lessons, which I admit, by the last lesson, i have only known a few names, very few names. By the end of camp, i memorised each and everyone's names.

My entire 9 weeks of experience cannot be put into mere words and into this single blog post. But all I have to say is that it has been great knowing and meeting all of you. Each and every single one of you who have crossed my path in pei hwa, be it the teacher mentors ms lee, mdm ong and mrs koh, classes whom I've taught, 3E1 and 3E3, students from relief classes and my dear fellow intern Angie! My internship wouldn't have been the same without any of you.

I don't know if I would be able to return to Pei Hwa anytime soon.

So I guess it's farewell for now.

It's funny how I am actually writing to nobody cos I don't think anyone will chance upon this well hidden blog, esp my students haha. But nevertheless I just wanna express some of the feelings I had about this internship.

As one teacher once said, " Teaching is an art, not a science", I guess my experience of 2 months plus can't make me a fantastic teacher overtime. Teaching is a skill that has to be honed. Should I become a teacher one day, I hope to be a teacher that cares and is able to build meaningful relationships with the students. And as one teacher quipped "And you know you have succeeded if the student calls you from across the street one day because you have been a fantastic teacher" (: